• Nurturing Noticing

    21 June 2021

    I notice which cereal my daughter ate for breakfast, by her sweet breath in my face an hour later. I notice if my husband drank a coffee between his teas at work when he kisses me good night. I notice who walked through my house, as I sniff entering the front door. I notice objects moved centimetres, blankets refolded, cushions depressed. I notice new fingerprints on windows, splashes behind sinks, and whether the heating has been on that day. My…

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  • What Do You Do?

    24 May 2021

    I never knew what I wanted to do, for work, as a grown-up, or with life in general.  My mum stopped work when she had me, and never returned. She’s given my dad some typing support for his work, volunteered, and helped out in the classroom when we were younger. As befell a lot of women of her generation, career options were limited. She left school and went to Secretarial College, then worked as a secretary in London, and other…

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  • photo from Getty

    Writer’s Digest Short Story Competition Finalist

    7 May 2021

    Out of nearly 200 entries, WD editors chose 5 finalists, of which I was one. Here is my entry, ‘Fourteen Hours Old’

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  • #30dayhaikuproject

    30 April 2021

    Thirty days, thirty haikus. In April 2021, for National Poetry Month, Nicole Gulotta from The Wild Words provided springtime haiku prompts on Instagram using the hashtag #30dayhaikuproject. Here are my responses:

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  • Being Vulnerable With My Body

    26 April 2021

    For many, being vulnerable with their body means styling it in novel ways or exposing it to others. Taking a chance on new fashions, or feeling vulnerable with our flesh under the gaze of others. But to me, being vulnerable with my body means the slow unravelling of conditioning, of the voices of others that have permeated my skin, which I now choose to wash out. It’s stepping into an unexplored frontier, with few guides and many voices of doubt.…

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  • Dreaming of Darkness

    14 March 2021

    Sometimes I anger, hot red with frustration, that I can’t live a life full of manifestation. I close my eyes stinging with tears and see clearly a different reality, creation. Streets peppered with trees, calming and cleaning. Wild green spaces for children tribing in freedom. Black, brown, white, with disabilities or enabled, all genders and histories intermingled. We lighten our tread on the land and its creatures. Helping not hindering healthy existence. After children and responsibilities are safely tucked up,…

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  • Making my Heart Smile

    13 March 2021

    ‘The kettle’s boiling’, three words that bring a smile to my heart. It’s always been the little things, but as we age we can stop pretending it’s the big things that make us happy. I’d rather stroke a new empty notebook than receive a surprise present. I’d rather an earl grey than a cocktail (most of the time, and always at home!). Slippers over high heels. Bed over party. Book over phone call. Yarn and hooks in my lap, old…

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  • Pen

    8 March 2021

    The sun shining on this pen leaves a shadow pen dancing, looping, and sailing across the page. It’s quite hypnotic to watch. Like someone else, something else having thoughts before me, or trying to communicate to me. We’re both hesitant at what to say next. What point is it making?

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  • Returning Light

    1 March 2021

    This morning, as I sit in my bed, cup of tea in hand, the sun is flooding my covers and, for the first time since autumn, hitting me in the face. It should feel a very welcome return, a sign of spring and returning light to be appreciated. And yet… The sunny early spring days are no doubt energising and uplifting, after the long days of dark. Their warmth feels strengthening on my skin and on our garden. But I…

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  • Throwing it

    18 February 2021

    Throwing pebbles at the roaring waves, Of crashing noise, of cold, salty sprays. Shouting nothings across the vast sea, From the deepest, darkest, parts of me. Sometimes you need to stand toe-to-toe, With wilderness out there, wilderness on show. Your storm settles, your tension expressed. The roaring and crashing can now, rest.

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  • Fairy Tale Endings

    1 February 2021

    A year of oscillating between fearing which medical infliction might take my parents. Doing our utmost to defend them from the invisible monster, whilst they battle bravely their discovered invaders. It feels strangely familiar, their journey to the cure, through the lair of the beast. Happy endings look like hope.

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  • Reflections

    31 December 2020

    2020 was the year I bought an A1 wall planner, so that the kids could see the whole exciting twelve months ahead of us. This time last year I was fixing it to our kitchen pinboard, labelling and decorating it with pretty washi tapes to mark the weddings (both of our younger siblings), the parties (extended wedding celebrations), holidays, trips, birthdays, and festivals we were happily anticipating. Turns out, you can’t plan a year. As each week passed, each washi…

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  • The Gift of Yule

    21 December 2020

    And so it turns. Apparently the days will get brighter and longer from now on. There are many cold, hard days ahead before the strength returns to the sun and the Oak King, but the cyclic turning of the wheel of the year has to be comforting, especially this year. There has been so much goodness, appreciation, growth, light, and love this year. We are a very lucky family. We love and care for many other people, and know we…

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  • A Walk Through the Trees

    12 November 2020

    Exploring the forest with my kids is probably one of my favourite things to do. But there is something magical and life-giving about using my child-free Thursdays to get out in the forest alone. To listen to the wind in the trees, the birds hiding in the bushes, and my own breathing as I get to carry a brisk pace. Without little legs and imaginative meanderings, I get to raise my heart-rate and pound out some stress. Today’s walk was…

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  • Letting Go to Welcome

    3 November 2020

    The letting go of autumn feels just so fitting this year, The peak of our year’s outward energies curtailed, now released, Each feeling, hope, regret, sorrow, wish. Released, and let go, and in doing so, Leaves the true shape of who we were all along. Welcoming the inward winter.

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  • Passing Time

    27 October 2020

    Picking pumpkins during the wettest rain of the week – that was the last minute plan. I pulled on my big girl boots, rounded up the hibernating troops and a plethora of waterproof gear and headed over the river in search of seasonal rituals. But the clouds burst in such quick succession, we were treated to a sunny double rainbow over the fields. Our usual trick of timing our pumpkin ‘harvesting’ to the favoured day between there being full fields…

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  • Summers

    13 July 2020

    When summers are recollected in smells and tastes, Sensations on bare skin and grit between toes. When familiar routines, songs and recipes bring expanding of heart. When they touch a plant and it warps them viscerally back decades. When we’ve done our best to savour and enjoy, Summer and our children.

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  • Lockdown Life

    11 May 2020

    There’s more time on screens, but there’s also more time in the garden. There’s less time with friends, but also more time to work through recurring sibling issues. There’s more disagreements, but more time to see their personalities and interests. There’s more time in our unfinished house but more time to push through some projects. There’s less things that can go on our to-do lists but more time to consider what should be on them. There’s more to worry about,…

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